01.27.13

Movie Bucket List

I have several of these lists, of which I plan to fulfill before I am dead. This movie list, activities list, sex list, people to meet list, etc.
The concept of a bucket list is to be aware of things you haven't done yet, things you want to do, and things that are expected of you to do before you kick the bucket. Notice the pun? Good. 
I am sharing with you today all of the movies I have on my bucket list because they are movies I have not seen and really need to. 
Enjoy!
If there are movies that I need to add, please let me know.

1. The Bourne movies
2. The Oceans (11,12,13...) movies
3. The Matrix
4. Resident Evil
5. James Bond
6. Indiana Jones
7. Anything with Marilyn Monroe
8. I Know What You Did Last Summer
9. Halloween
10. Scream
11. Friday the 13th
12. Home Alone
13. Nightmare on Elm Street
14. Willy Wonka (old and new)
15. Die Hard
16. Lethal Weapon
17. Chocolate
18. Lord of the Rings


I have many many more and will continue to update this list as I think of them and/or cross them off by actually watching them. 

Resolution #027: Make lists of things you wish to do before your life ends. Movies, activities, etc. And actually make the effort to do them. Life is short, and it would be wasted if you missed out on anything.

01.26.13

Fight Club

Recently, I have found myself butting heads with random people in my life. My brother, my friends, my boss... my boss? Yeah, him too. 
And these arguments have been seriously petty as fuck. 
One was about change amount from the package store. Another was over me doing my laundry. Another was over which job was priority and which one wasn't. 
Stupid shit to argue about!
And what's worse, is that I was so naive to actually argue back. As if my two cents actually mattered in resolving the stupid problem that shouldn't have even been a problem to begin with. 
What, honestly, is the point of arguing over these stupid insignificant things?
The need to be right, the clarification that you are in control of the provided situation, the urge to express some underlying emotion that has absolutely nothing to do with the situation you're thrust in, just not knowing how to express what you feel without arguing about it first using petty things to dilute the fact that this is, in fact what you're feeling. 
Did that last one even make sense?
None of these stupid fights have made any sense at all to me.
And for some reason, they have weighed on me more than they should have.
So, I will cut straight to the point with this one.

Resolution #026: Choose your battles wisely. Are you really crying over spilt milk? Or is there something else you need to say, you just happen to be using milk as your decoy...? Think about the fight you are pursuing, and the consequences of this argument. Is this an argument that will burn a bridge with someone? If so, is this the way you want it to burn? When in doubt, just be honest with yourself by taking a step back to figure out the root cause of this trifle. Are you really mad with this person? Or are you just having a bad day? After you figure out what is going on with you, be open about it with everyone else. So that these petty arguments don't need to even happen. You are welcome.

01.25.13

Sankofa

There is a concept that originated in West Africa called Sankofa. This concept, translated, means, "it is not taboo to go back and fetch what you have forgot." This does not apply to leaving your keys in the door, or your coffee on top of your car. This concept relates to the past that shapes us. It is okay to reach back into our roots, our mistakes, or memories, and the feelings associated with those memories and use them as tools to shape a better future.
I first stumbled across this concept in my Black American Literature class, the very first day of the semester. I used to think that the past should stay in the past, that mistakes should not be forgotten, but should never be spoken of again. I used to believe that you take those emotions felt way back then, the pain, shame, heartache, yearning, and misery and shut them down when they rear their ugly heads. That when you remember those times that made you feel that way, you flip your switch, shut it off, that way you don't have to rehash the past.
Well, I was wrong.
The concept of Sankofa is the truest statement I have come across in my short existence here on earth. I have begun to look into those significant moments that have created the person I am today.
I want to take this post to shout out to some people who have played parts in my world that have impacted my life in forever changing ways.
My parents and grandparents:
I obviously would not even have a life if not for you. You have been the constant in a world full of change.
Mom, we may have our ups and our downs, we may fight and bicker, but at the end of the day, I still need my mommy. And I will always be your little girl.
Dad, I have always been and always will be a Daddy's girl. You are my hero. You have always taken care of me, even when you physically could not be there. I will never stop loving you, and I pray you know that.
Pepe and Meme, I know you are no longer a part of this world, but you will forever hold a place in my heart. Thank you for taking care of me and Evan, loving us unconditionally. Knowing you, having you in my life, has made me a better person. You both have given me a kind of love to hope and look forward to for myself. 
Grandma Sharon, Papa Jack, Grandpa Don, and Grandma Peggy, you have all made life so easy for me, and with all of you having been in my life, I am blessed every day.
Evan and Nathan, my brothers, you are my entire world, and I would do absolutely anything for the both of you. You both mean so much to me, and I pray we stay close even when we're still fighting over the remote in the old home.
My best friends, you keep me grounded when I feel like the world is trying to uproot me. Without you all, I would be absolutely alone in a world of douchebags. And that would just be bad. 

Anyways, those who have portrayed significant roles in our past shape our future. They shape our now, and they shaped the path the got us here. Also, those people provide us with memories, both good and bad. Those experiences provide us with emotions to use as weapons for possible situations we may face in the future.

Resolution #025: The people who were meant to be in our lives, will be in our lives. Whether we want them there or not. Those people who broke us down or cast us aside, are only proof of how strong of a person we have become. And if those people--the ones who hurt us--are still meant to be in our lives, then they will be. They will find some way, some how, to redeem themselves. And it is up to us to forgive and move forward. Because, as Fate would have it, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

01.24.13

My Snapple Commercial

Okay, so this semester I am taking a basic film writing course and my very first assignment was to write a 30 second commercial. I thought this was incredibly fun. So I wanted to share it with you. Enjoy.

EXT. WHARFSIDE WAREHOUSE- NIGHT

WIDE SHOT

A foggy night. Three armed guards walk the perimeter of the warehouse.

FADE IN

INT. WAREHOUSE LOADING DOCK- NIGHT

WOMAN sitting in a metal chair, arms tied behind back of chair, centered around five armed guards. LEAD GUARD paces in front of chair, holding gun in one hand.

LEAD GUARD

(angry Russian accent)

Tell me what I want to know.

What is the secret ingredient?

What makes the new Peach

Cranberry Snapple so good?

WOMAN

(defiant and sarcastic)

Isn’t it obvious?

LEAD GUARD

(shouting)

I am not here to answer riddles!?

Tell me the secrets of this beverage!

WOMAN

(laughing)

Come closer and I’ll tell you.

Lead guard leans in toward the woman. Woman snaps back and head butts him, intentionally falls backward in metal chair, slips out of the rope binding her wrists.

CLOSE- LEAD GUARD’S FACE

LEAD GUARD

(holding his nose, shouting)

Don’t let her go!

Get the bottle!

(points to table in corner)

CU- PORTION OF TABLE- SNAPPLE BOTTLE

Hand enters shot and grabs bottle

WIDER SHOT

WOMAN

(smiles proudly)

You mean this bottle?

She holds up Snapple bottle. Everyone in the warehouse pauses and just stares at her. Scuffle ensues, all five guards dive at her.

FADE IN

EXT. DOCKS BEYOND WAREHOUSE- NIGHT

Woman running, warehouse looming behind her, DISTANT SHOUTING AND GUNFIRE.
She jumps down off dock toward the water, landing on a jet ski.

CLOSE- WOMAN’S FACE- DRINKING FROM SNAPPLE

WOMAN

(after taking sip from Snapple

bottle, looks at camera, smiling)

You can’t blame them for trying.

After all, Snapple is made

from the best stuff on earth.

CUT TO SNAPPLE LOGO

Resolution #024: Make work (hard labor, mental conundrums, and homework)as fun as possible. If you are stressing over math finals or building a house, no matter what it is you are doing, make it enjoyable.Nothing should be boring or stressful unless you so should choose to have it that way. And, human nature may have it, no one likes boring or stressful. So, fun up!

01.23.13

Ink

Every day

I bare my soul

With paper I blot

the blood of pain

from my heart--

Throbs are blue

with rhythmic sound

sweet bitter life

Bare lips suckle the pen tops,

I chew...

Brain enthused 

with transparent muse

I have chosen words...

The scribble sings

till my fingers are numb--

Even on the loo

the words come

But first the feeling,

the urge to screw

the world with a pen nib

All else abandoned,

I have chosen ink.

No

I am not 

on the brink

of hope

I only stand

on the spit white cliff

of insanity...

-Jean Goulbourne

Sometimes audible words do not flow from the lips as easily as we would hope.

Sometimes we stutter and trip, syllables seemingly impossible, when we attempt to portray our emotions and opinions through vocal means.

Sometimes the one we try to speak to just takes our breath away, and words are just lost, or stranded, on the tip of the tongue.

Why do we slip up on conversations that mean so much to us?

Why can we not just say what we need to say, without holding back?

Without allowing our doubts to take over?

Resolution #023: When words escape you, your vocal cords all tied up in knots, pick up a pen. Allow your emotions to pour out on a page, the words unsaid, expressed on paper. Sort through the muck that is your mind. Or, even more so, your heart. Find the courage to say what you need to say, even if you, yourself, is silent. Write. 

01.22.13

THE HO CODE

There are certain things boys will never understand about women. The majority of men will never know they are misunderstanding these things. And without that awareness, they are walking around with their blinders on, probably headed straight off the nearest cliff.
So today I thought I would touch up on the girl code. The number one thing that, for some reason unknown to me, guys can just not understand.
For guys, as Barney Stinson has alluded to, there is the Bro Code. Guys have certain unwritten and written rules for how to engage other bros, how to handle certain bro-related situations, and how to get out of some sticky (pun intended) bro-like shenanigans. I think they actually made a Bro Code Facebook page…
For girls, it is a rough similarity to the Bro Code, but a little more complicated, just as us women can be. I like to refer to it as the Ho Code. Guys, as far as I know, are aware that the Ho Code exists, but they may not understand the codes, or the reasoning behind them. Which is why I’m here… to alleviate the pain of having to figure it out on your own. Penis Owners, you are welcome.
Now I am definitely not going to cover all of them, just the ones I believe are the most important. And the ones I think that men really should get a handle on before it is too late to save you from a clusterfuck of shit that might happen if you should disrespect the Ho Code.

Ho Code #01:

Thou shalt not date, sleep with, or even find yourself attracted to any one of your friends’ exes.

Now, this is a similar code for the bros, I think. You never want to find yourself in that awkward scenario where you are having to explain to one of your friends why his ex-girlfriend has tagged along to brunch with you when they broke up just a few months ago.
Some may argue that there is an amount of time that needs to go by in order to make that little scenario work, but I implore you, do not believe that bullshit for even a second.
I do not care if five minutes or five years have gone by since they have split. It has always been, still is, and always will be an incredibly awkward situation for all parties involved.
This works in the opposite way as well. If, say, my high school best friend and I have lost touch for the past four years, but have recently bumped into each other, and she is now dating one of my exes……… UM, BITCH, NO. Never mind the fact that the ex she is seeing, was the same one I was head over heels in love with while I was attending high school, while her and I were friends, and while she was giving me advice on boys and such when I didn't even have to ask her to.
Bitch, you were there when he broke my heart the first twelve times... Are you stupid? Also never mind the other fact that him and I have been on and then off again for the past six years of my life, and had plans the weekend I saw you with him. It wasn't even a few days prior to our little run in that he was messaging me and asking me on a date.
Anyways, I digress.
The moral of this godforsaken story is simple. Do not think about touching what you know your friend has already had her hands all over. Period.
Guys need to respect this as much as chicks do... the point of the matter seems to be, that nine times out of ten, it is the ex boyfriend who seems to initiate on said friend of ex. Dude, if you wouldn't touch any of your bro's sloppy seconds, why the fuck do you think that any of my friends are going to touch you? And if they do, then, I guess everyone just needs to get a refreshment course of the fucking CODE of CONDUCT.

HO CODE #02:

Thou shalt not divulge information that people outside of you and your closest friends do not need to know.

This includes:

Sexual Conquests and the bragging thereof (magic number)

What you may or may not have had for lunch

How that lunch is passing through you...

Drunken mishaps

Your period

Girls share a lot of information with each other. Even more so with their really tight close knit group of friends. My best friends and I talk about absolutely everything. And that is okay. This rule does not pertain to them. This rule pertains to those outside of that close knit little bunch of bitches.

If I work with you, if I on occasion party with you, if I have a class with you, rarely see you at the bar, may or may not have had a drunken conversation with you, or if I just know you as a friend of a friend, YOU SHOULD NOT KNOW ANY INTRICATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE IF I HAVE NOT TOLD YOU MYSELF.

I tell my friends certain things for certain reasons. I do not tell them absolutely everything, but eventually they get as much information as is needed. But there is a rule between me and my girls, what we talk about in our small circle, stays in our small circle.

So guys, as this would involve you because, well, let's face it, you are majority of what us girls seem to talk about (God only knows why...), you do not seem to understand the best friend confidentiality agreement.

Guys feel the need to brag about their sexual conquests. As often as possible, and to anyone and everyone who is willing to bend an ear. It is apparently very crucial that everyone in your zip code know just how many girls and exactly which girls you have slept with.

It is bad enough that I am having sexual interaction with a man who feels the need to brag about his sexual interactions, I do not need you telling all of kingdom come that you have slept with me.

Secondly, I don't need you telling everyone under the sun what it was I had for lunch, or the fact that it is making my stomach upset and that's why I just excused myself to the Lady's room.

Thirdly, do not reiterate every fucking detail of how wasted I was last weekend that I didn't even know my own name. Chances are, everyone who is meant to know how sloppy I am when I am drunk, was there to witness it. No need to rehash shit.

And lastly, and I am begging with you to pay very close attention to this one, stop telling everyone when I am on my period. All of your bros do not need to know how Mother Nature fucked me over this week. I promise you, if I am as bitchy as you claim I am when it is that time, then they will figure it out on their own.

Got it?

Good.

Take pride in the fact that I am willing to share these key survival tips with you men. I know it is a jigsaw puzzle and a half trying to figure out us women. And I know it gets tough. But this little post should help, even if a little.

I don't mean to write so much, and I know some of you guys are so illiterately lazy that you just skip to the bottom, so here ya go:

Resolution #022: Abide by the unwritten/written codes of society. Bro Codes and Ho Codes alike are vital for making the world go 'round in a peaceful like manner. If you are unsure of how to approach a certain opposite sex situation, ask. Girls will be the first to tell you what to say or how to act. And guys, before she goes ahead and makes a fool of herself breaking a bro code she knows nothing of, take her aside and let her know what's up. Common courtesy is apparently not so common anymore, so let's step it up, kids.

01.21.13

Say What?

I have been trying to decide whether or not I should continue trying to make this stupid blog work or not. I am not sure exactly who or what reads it, and I am not sure what good it’s doing if I can’t even manage to keep up with every day of the year.
It’s not for the lack of trying, because I definitely have that trying part down. It’s the actual doing part that scares me. I made a vow to myself at the very beginning of the year to put forward my better self, and try with everything I have in me to do better than the me that came before. Staying positive, looking up, and simply being more awesome than I have ever been. Too bad for me, it’s harder than it looks.
So with the ability to juggle school, work, a social life, my drinking habits, and sleep, I am also struggling to keep a grasp on my writing. I think I should write more, know I should probably write more, if not for the sole reason of making others laugh or appreciate the words I have delicately laid out across the page, then to at least attempt to progress my work into something tolerable for readers in the future.
My question to you is, is it worth it?
My philosophy, and also answer to this question, is simple… and I will explain to you why in the “resolution” part of this post.

Resolution #021: Keep your word. When you say you are going to do something, do it. Don’t pull out every excuse in the book, do not put it off, and do not avoid it with other empty promises. Just man up and do it. I say I want to write a blog, I shall write a blog. You want to go skydiving? Do it. You tell your better half you will pick up a gallon of milk after work? You best believe your ass is in the grocery store debating over 1 and 2 percent. Don’t just say things you don’t mean. That makes everything coming from your voice box worthless.